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about
seanbateman9

Godless sexual deviant hedonist or Gay messiah?
Welcome...
Closer...

"You get me closer to God..."
Sean here...


A "Prayer for the Departed..."


Hey there - thanks for the visit to my page here and sexual cyber space...
I'am all about the nasty and the "Fuck Yeah!" yep sure am --
but before you open that door and descend here -
(with me) into my sexual homo-fest of denziens...
and night crawlers...
and go into the undergound of lust...
I want to tell you something...

I want to share something cool with you that happened to me recently...
I dig candlelight...

As I lit a candle in my home...recently
I got a streak of inspiration...
voices of angesls...
Gay angels - maybe...
the dearly departed ? spoke:
It came to me to say this prayer...
(As I lit the candle...)

""This candle is a light...
and a symbol of love and peace and all good things to all souls - my queer brothers and sisters - who died from fear...
(to all the spirits) - who commited suicide...in this life ...becasue they were gay...
>>>To all the people that ever got gay bashed...
and of course to those who passed...
because of the gay holocaust...
(the gay holocaust - that happened in the late 80s and early nineties...due to meds overdosing and poisoning from toxic meds...AZT and DDI..."

prayer continues..
"Whatever I do in my life I will remember you and also know that you are on the other side to guide me and help me - your power and protection and love are mine...
I wish you love and light and pray that you guide me and keep me safe..."


((the holocaust...))
us older guys are stunned
the younger guys perhaps dont know the history
or perhaps they do and believe that is their fate or what they deserve...
well listen up !
the fear in this world does not belong to us...and it doesnt belong to you - dont ever soak it up or ingest it or internalize it...
repel it - it is toxic...deeply - deeply toxic...
and it should never harm us...again,
ever again...
consider that wherever you are or may be - you deserve to live in safety and peace....
and if someone sends you hate -
you just send it right back..
with a note - that says -
"It doesnt belong to me and never will..."

prayer continues...
"I pray to send love to all the people who have been harmed...
hurt or died from homophobia....
it is because of you that I enjoy all the wonderful -
cool things about being gay and queer and homo...
homo-empowered...so thanks - to all the spirits helping me here in this world...who either passed before me or went before their time....
to make this world a better place and an easier place for me...
thank you...
Amen..."

try this -- @ home once a week...
Light a candle for the departed...
I'am doing the same...
it is very healing -- for strength and love and peace...
consider all who have gone before you as I did and all who will come after us...
community is not a being predatory - it's about co-existing...
protecting each other...
Its about Co-union or communion...


tell me the miracles and results you have...
heal your soul and protect yourself and other like us...
amen...
theres my rant...
much love Sean

and now....
Hot, hot, hotness...fuck-brah....hotness...for you
read on...
stories and blogs and more to get you to the heat Zone...




>>> blog entry - (Excerpts from "Sean's Blue Pjajamas"...)
This blog is rated XXX - Adults only...



erik
>>
yeah --
maybe it's becuz i start shaking every time i look into your eyes...
or
the fact that I don't even know you and i can't stand to be away from you...
i want to chain you to the floor so youll never get away -- never again give that cum of urs to anyone but me --
you make me shake inside and i cant talk -
is that love or fear ?
can u love me or do you just love my h**e ??
will u let me handcuff you and blindfold u and take my cock just the way i like it ? >>>>get on ur knees like daddys little cocksucker and service me ??
and then make me do all the same for you ?
-- i never want to forget the look in ur eyes - when u filled my hole full of cream and then licked it out - lapped it out of my hole and then looked into my eyes and kissed me hard and soft all at once --
i want you to come over here with ripe funky pits and make me smell them -- and make me smell your sweaty boots and socks --
and fuc me with ur armpit in my face --
i think i would give you my blood if u needed it...
i would buy you what ever you wanted jus to have the priveledge of looking into your eyes when i woke up >>>
the truth---
i loved u even before i met you -- then i saw u and i knew
i knew you were the one --

>>> maybe becuz you came to my house at nine-thirty in the morning and just blew in and wuz like, "take off those boxers -- now..."

or maybe b-cuz you fucked me so nice and when it got too intense and i tried to pull your dick out of my ass and you were like --
"no -- No way -- Don't pull away from me...."
and wouldn't let me do it and then fucked me ever harder...

or what happened inside of me when we kissed and how you kissed me back -- kinda hard and pushing me onto the bed -- and holding me down like you couldn't get enuff...
erik -- erik Erik....
or maybe
It's just the feeling around you that i feel -
like the whole fucking world is going to explode and the ground is gonna open at any minute -- and i don't care -- and i jus see ur smile and wanna be in ur arms...
and i will want you -- always...
and i will long for you always --

more at my blog - >>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

blog Entry XXX - Adults Only !!!

The Captain of the Wrestling Team...
High school...

1976...
a lazy - hot july afternoon...
i was detoxoing from cocaine and last nights alcohol binge on the high school campus football field late at night -- a six pack of beer - and drinking with the captain of the wrestling team...
we were smashed...

it started with a look in his eyes...
then he started laughing...
and standing above me...
as i lay on the grass laughing also...
and sat on my stomache, and pinned my wrists down - to the grass, then he looked into my eyes...
and then - oh my god...
he kissed me...and he kissed me harder and he didn't stop...
and i kissed him back >>>
he took my hand to his crotch...his dick was hard and then suddenly fast and quick -- mine got hard beneath him...I
tore off my shirt and undid my pants and then i undid his...
and then....yep....i fucked him
on the grass...under the stars, in front of god --- in front of jesus...
the all - star captain of the wrestling team...the prom king....in my arms, getting my dick up his...and jerking off and kissing me all the way...
then before we knew it...
we both passed out (together in each others arms...)
i might add...
his varsity jacket draped over both of us as a kind of blanket...
cheek to cheek...
amen.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
to be continued.....

the next morning we were awakened by the summer session's girls soccer team coming onto the field to practice...
my pants down around my ankles...blake was laying next to me....
empty "miller" bottles scattered around laying on the grass...
the sun glaring down --
all of a sudden waking up and looking up at the coach...and then seeing blake...his fine furry butt and beautiful cock -- a morning hard-on...
hard in the afternoon day sun --
looking into his eyes and then realizing that we were not alone...
that his johnson was standing straight up in all it's glory kinda flapping in the air, and that dumb - sexy smile on his mug that made everyone fall in love with him, his lazy bedroom eyes, gazing into mine - as he began to grin, thinking for a second that we were still alone...
and about to grin, >>>>>but.........

then realizing where we were and remembering the night before -- he reached over to kiss me....and pull his varsity jacket tighter around us...all in the same motion, his mouth about to grace mine...his lips just grazing mine, and then his head turned....to look upward....
and then whamm -- absolute panic....
"oh my god!!!!!"
we both looked up...the female soccor coach surverying Blakes hard bone and my butt, as I was laying on my stomache, without my pants on, standing right over us....
my pants were about six feet away on the grass, as well as my boxers and one of my boots, the other one was still on...
"Holy shit!!!!" Mrs Cavanuagh!! whats she doing here??"
blake belted out to me....
then he just yelled...."Fuck! shit-- I'am ---- outta here..."
pulled his pants on and ran home.....

>>>>>>>>>>>>
the both of us -- hung-over to shit and both knowing that now, the entire school would know what happened....
blake moved fast and quick--- pulled on his pants - left his t-shirt laying there beside me and ran....away-----
fast>>>>
just ran away...his body a small dot on the horizon before i knew it....and then disappeared....

"Mrs. Cavanugh...I ah, it was ah -- we -- were ah---"
i kinda fumbled for an explanation and my pants at the time time, i grabbed blake's T-shirt and held it in fronot of my crotch and kinda hunched over, looking into her eyes and knowing there was nothing to explain or say....but then blurted out....
"Its ah -- it's not -- it's not,>>>>>
how it looks....I swear -- really..."
I held blake's t-shirt tight -- covering my dick and tryong to bend over to grab my boxers and pants...and also trying to cover my butt - ah butthole -- while doing it....
then i slipped on my boxers and bolted....and just fucking ran -- outta sight....into the parking lot and got into my pick up truck and drove away....
holy shit -- i just had my honeymoon - kinda -- or something and now i was gonna get a divorce... I knew i'd never really, ever talk to blake again....
we both knew that we were toast...totally found out...that we were butt-fucking fags....
our lives would never be the same...
and they weren't...
blake was a senior and --
the kind of pain that cant be healed you just have to ask god to do it or take it from you --
>>>>>>>

continued as Sean's Blue Pajamas...
blog address below - Please read on...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hey SEAN...here....
thnkxxx for reading my blog...


Your wish is my command.....
tell me whats gonna make you happy....
confess what you want....


>>>>>>>>>>>

Access your power -- and change the world...

You were not brought into this world to be tortured by evil heteros....ok man - ? Don't ever forget that....

and don't let anyone abuse you - ever....>>>>
I'll protect you - I promise....

use my power and use your power for good....
the more they attack - the stronger and more powerful...
we become....

>>>>>>>>>>>>
Does the D-list stand for the DICK-list???


Sexxxy is on the inside.....it's an essence -- not a body part...but speaking of...yeah my dick was kinda made to slide into your hole....
and my hole was -- yeah - made to - get - F**ed....
by yeah -- hot dick...
ahhh yep - unrepentant - buttf**ker here....
heheee...yeah....


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


MY pics are all ((XXX)) - unlocked....

In my reality - All men are beautiful...


>>>>>> The Rough side...

Hey !
It smells like Mennen "Speed Stick" in here baby...
like the locker room of your dreams...

rough and ready...or suave and kissable...
sensitive and hard in all the right places...just for you...

>>>>>>>
read all about it....

http://seanbateman9.blogspot.com/


http://dreamblog-kirk.blogspot.com/


>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The sensitive side...

Recently in my "Straight" job - ah the job I do for cash - as it were -- I was interviewed - instead of a profile - I'am listing the interview here below - any thing else just ask...


Now some questions of my own, if you would not mind. Dont feel obligated to answer any of them - I'am intentionally digging so just tell me and skip it if theres anything you do not feel comfortable typing out. Iam just pulling these questions out -

How would you define your sexuality?


answer - the short version is -- gay - but more precisly queer - if in a spirutal sense of my orientation to the world and people and everything then iam def "queer"
and a "Queer..."
Iam not like other gay guys at all...and generally they dont like me -- or dont wish to socialize with me -- although some a few or many might want to fuck me -- but i just dont identify with them....
on so many levels...
if you mean -- well i guess this question alone could inspire and evening of chat alone for me --
if your looking for the meachanics - i guess of me getting it on -- and what i do with my body -- psyhsical body then my answer is:
ah -- i prefer to bottom...for guys -- yes...
vers bottom...but yes bottom...
iam reticinet to fill a guy with my energy like wise -- as a top b/c i am afraid it would be too strong for them -- and cause a breakdown in their psyche or etheric body that they might not be ready for -- unless theyve done yoga etc...and were preapred for it -
defined sexuality as how i precive the world and my sexual self in it --
??? i will guess this is part of your question or what turns me on -- to people and life -- ?

a few things -- ah sensuality -- warmth
clear eyes
chocolate
rich food
clarity
grass - the kind in a park...:)
humility
anger spoken in truth
power
submission
heat
blue
number one turn on for me --
the way a guy smells...
my sexual receptors are in my nose -- being psychic to the core first of all -- the nose knows as they say -- my face is basically like the reciver of imput and psychic sense -- the right smell of a persons body -- a guys body would make me drop my pants -- faster than anything else and always has...

ok theres some ideas for you about that -- ah -- the other thing is people have been coming on to me -- trying to fuck me or seduce me my whole life --
and i guess this has put me in a certain relationship wi the world i move in - i ended up making it my power -- ah - out of survival...
because i had to -- or perish from being what ?
having my lifeforce sucked from me completly --
but in specifc ref to --
my sexuality ?

ah -- -- I kinda AM sexuality --
I'am sex...in many - many forms....
sensuality, knowing - I give pleasure, the sound of my voice...the way my body smells - i smell like sex, it's in my eyes and body....my aura...knowing what a person wants - what a guy wants - in bed - top or bottom - agressive or gentle - making love to the person or drilling them through the bed...being rough or rommantic...



ok lets move on here -- ill answer any other specifics nasty or ruanchy or intimate as you like -- be my guest and ask away --

ok -- next



What is something you would like to do but havent ??
this is a hard one -- iam stumped -
i want to drive around the country for 3-6 months with an unlimited buget for the travel ....

Id like to have dinner at the met museum actually after its been closed -- with a personal butler - for me and the man of my dreams -- who ever that may be -- the two of us free to raom the museum at night - and eat and maybe F**k under my favorite painting...


id like to have the experience of a person being -- giving me something without truly asking for something in return -- to see that -- see the persona that could or would do that -- find the guy that is clean and has clarity of thought and action....



What is the first sexual experience with a guy that you initiated?


- his name was Brad -- I was totally in love with him --- I ripped his underwear right off him the first time we had sex....


>>>>>>>>


How would you define your spirituality?
wow these questions are intense -- and the answers are not simple -

b/c iam not sure if your looking for a psychic profile or a few words - anyway lets see -

a definition as in a label ?
like budhist or chrsitian or something larger like -- what makes me spiritual or -- ?
there are spirits around me and they are guiding me and have always been there -
my only alleigiance -- is to authenticity --
speak from your heart and you will know "god"


What do you believe your purpose here is?

ive always considred my time here a punishment for doing something "wrong" since i was young -- as if i took a wrong turn in the galaxy somewhere - and ended up in a psyhical form -
the Brother form Another planet -- if you will...

like a working vacation-- there has always been a responsibiltiy and a weight -- that i have never been able to lift -- off of me -
karmic ?
its terrible -- i have thought of ending my life several times because of these things - heavy --
my purpose is to teach -- and help other advanced souls here -- for communion --
i thought i would find acceptance form other gay guys but no i found alienation and victimhood - and drama so i stay away from most gay people in general -
my purpose here -?
to enlighten -- that is -- to wake people up -- shake them up --
I'am the person you meet before a major transition of your life --
iam the transformer - it has happened time and time again -- i transform people - its heavy - i give them medicine -- pscyhic medicine - by virtue of my chi - my eyes my thoughts --
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

How do you feel about what you have done so far towards that?
well iam just now coming into the remembrance of my full self and powers but yeah -- iam doing it and have done it for many many people -- psychic consuling -- tarot reading -- listening - asking -- becoming -- yes
>>>>>>>>>>



What are 3 things you feel you are missing right now?
a sane pair of arms to hold me --

2. my true soul mate i believe is not incarnating at this time and is back in our home waiting for me - more on this later - perhaps -

3. trust -- of life or people --
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


What is the strongest love you have felt for someone and tell me a little about who they were please?

thats tough -- the deepest connection ive ever felt to anything was an animal actaully -- a rotweiler dog -- that i loved deeply and dearly -- no beastiality jokes please - ah he used to sleep under my bed and protected me -- knew everything i said and understood everything i asked -- my his eyes --
i never thought an animal was capable of that type of connection -- it kinda woke me up -
my heart opened up because of this dog - until then people were like animals to me -- and most of them still are -- i dont think i have to explain to yu that no i did not have a sexual thing for the dog -

it was the purest love i have even seen - it can not be explained - i bonded so complelty with this dog -- it seemed unreal...he read my thoughts truly knew when i was sad or happy or angry -- ah dunno if i could find a boyfriend with half of "Wofey's" sincercity or compasion or trust - --
id marry him ...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

a rommanitc connection with --
strongest rommantic connection ?

there was a guy named Eric -- that i dated a few times-- i was so nervouse to be around him i threw up after the dates....


there was a spirit that followed me for years - and went into guys bodies - waited to have sex with me -- in a snese on the etheric - after a few years i realized it was always the same spirit - same eyes -- but a different guy -- but the same spirt -- it hasnt been around since i broke up with last lover 7 years ago --

>>>>>>>>>>>>


Would you honestly say your happy and why?


no --
happy -- No
No --
content -- no
always looking never finding -- always wanting -- but never realy having --
no once again see the above - ive comtemplated ending my life here many times -- the problem is not in my body so destoying it will do no good for me -- the problem--
this problem is in my concioussness -- so this is why i dont kill my self or ah my body --
>>>>>>>>>>>




If you could ask any one question to anyone (past or present) except - God - then what would be the question and to whom?

thats easy -- to Jesus --
the question - ""What really happned ?""

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Where and how did you grow up?

i gre up in the OC
born in long beach california --
>>>>>>>>>>


If you could change anything about yourself in an instant
what would it be?

these questions are tough bro --
i dont kno this one --


What 3 songs speak the most to you?

wagner -- ride of the valkeries
the entire soundtrack of the Wall - pink floyd
ive have listned to one song from the American beauty soundtrack almost 1000 times -- according to the counter in my i-tunes -
it is a song -- no words -- by thomas newman -
it is 3 minutes and 6 seconds long -
its called American beauty -- i think
i listen to thomas newman - composer the most -
the songs are sad and soothing --
and the soundtrack to Meet Joe Black - i listen to also
often
i also listen to the soundtrack to Angels in America by thomas newman as well



What 3 movies speak the most to you or as you said, have healed you?
carnival of souls - by herk hervy
blue velvet -- david lynch

Donnie Darko

>>>>>>>>>>
What does your future look like? And if you could paint it what would the movie of your life look like?
it feels black at the moment - iam not sure why -
the future - ah -

it seems blank -- red -- hope -- sad - sadness -- wanting to be held and soothed -
more of the same i dont think i can take --
its fun but does it touch me -- right now -- no - not really --
i dream of finding money and disaappering -- escaping
i dream of a person that can see me - but not expose me --



Sean


>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>More later....


if you dont mind --

will you tell me about your first kiss - ?

to be continued....